I started to feel more and more
like a shaman of the olden days
My body starting talking, getting louder and more and more energetic
I think I must have been in a kind of trance
A visible ecstasy of pain
which she probably enjoyed
After having observed me for a long time
with that typical look of hers
she emerged from behind her lenses
and said, whispering
"I see you're enjoying the fact that I am taking pictures of you"
I was shy
and blushed a little
I replied
"It excites me
It gives me a kick"
On her face I saw a smile of confusion
I reacted at once and said
"No, no, not sexually
I feel my body better
when others look at me
I have the feeling that I am more real then
that I live more, exist more
I experience every point of the movement I make
as new
Every part of a movement is an event
a happening
a spectacle
It is as if I've been dead
and come to life again
Do you understand me, a little?
Jan Fabre
